So, we moved! Into the country, and I LOVE it here. Hubby stopped taking his meds recently, and he's actually been more of himself since he stopped! Things pretty much hit rock bottom, and I thought that was it. I thought it had reached that point where I had to say enough, and walk away. I gave it all over to god, again, and let him take control.
Since he stopped taking his medication, he's been talking to me more, being more affectionate, playing with the kids.. SMILING, joking, laughing. Sure, we still have our bad days, but it's nothing in comparison to what was going on.
I am at a loss for words, because I'm just.. Happy, and enjoying our life right now. I know there will be bad days, but with things as positive as they have been, I just don't have much to blog about right now, other than things are GOOD :)
Friday, April 12, 2013
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
It's not my fault, it's not my fault, it's not my fault.
I need to keep chanting that to myself over and over again. Maybe I'll really start to believe it if I say it enough? One huge lesson we as spouses to those suffering with PTSD learn, is it's not our fault. Often times I bend over backwards to get stuff done, to make life easier on him. Does he notice? Nope. I'll clean, and clean, and clean. Does he notice? Never. I'll have gone out of my way to do something nice for him. Did it matter? Not at all. But it's hard to not get let down. It really does hurt your feelings to know that no matter how hard you try, it doesn't matter.
How can I stick around, and love someone like this? Honestly, sometimes it's hard. But then I see a little tiny glimpse of what life used to be like, and the man he used to be, and it's enough to usually carry me through the bad for a while. He didn't ask for this, it happened to him. It happened to our family. And now, we learn to live with it. I think one of the biggest thing that has helped me, is to know that I really am NOT alone, though at times it feels like I am.
I literally spent an hr and a half on the phone with someone I barely know, yet we've known each other for years, and crossed paths several times. It was like talking to someone I've known forever. Everything I said, she knew exactly what I meant, and how I felt. I cannot explain how much that helped me. At the same time, it really puts into perspective just how many people are really hurting that bad, and just holding onto anything they can for dear life. We just deal, and pull through, and then finally after days, or weeks, or months... Something amazing happens, and it charges us up a little bit again.. Then starts the difficult part all over again.. And it just keeps cycling around.
Today was hard. It seemed to have started out decent, even with the sickness my daughter and I have right now. He came home for lunch, and actually picked up some lunch I had called in. It wasn't great, we didn't really have a good vibe, but it wasn't bad. Sometimes that's all we can ask for, is for it to just be "meh". Then when he came home from work. I had done something that took me half the day to complete, but it really made a huge difference in our house. It didn't make a difference to him. The worst part is the attitude he seems to have. I was in a decent mood, and trying to spend some time with him, and he just seemed like he was in pain being near me. That. HURTS.
So, yeah... It's not my fault. Even though I sit here and question what the heck I did. I know it's not my fault. Now I just have to try my hardest not to let it bring me down as well. Ho hum.
How can I stick around, and love someone like this? Honestly, sometimes it's hard. But then I see a little tiny glimpse of what life used to be like, and the man he used to be, and it's enough to usually carry me through the bad for a while. He didn't ask for this, it happened to him. It happened to our family. And now, we learn to live with it. I think one of the biggest thing that has helped me, is to know that I really am NOT alone, though at times it feels like I am.
I literally spent an hr and a half on the phone with someone I barely know, yet we've known each other for years, and crossed paths several times. It was like talking to someone I've known forever. Everything I said, she knew exactly what I meant, and how I felt. I cannot explain how much that helped me. At the same time, it really puts into perspective just how many people are really hurting that bad, and just holding onto anything they can for dear life. We just deal, and pull through, and then finally after days, or weeks, or months... Something amazing happens, and it charges us up a little bit again.. Then starts the difficult part all over again.. And it just keeps cycling around.
Today was hard. It seemed to have started out decent, even with the sickness my daughter and I have right now. He came home for lunch, and actually picked up some lunch I had called in. It wasn't great, we didn't really have a good vibe, but it wasn't bad. Sometimes that's all we can ask for, is for it to just be "meh". Then when he came home from work. I had done something that took me half the day to complete, but it really made a huge difference in our house. It didn't make a difference to him. The worst part is the attitude he seems to have. I was in a decent mood, and trying to spend some time with him, and he just seemed like he was in pain being near me. That. HURTS.
So, yeah... It's not my fault. Even though I sit here and question what the heck I did. I know it's not my fault. Now I just have to try my hardest not to let it bring me down as well. Ho hum.
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
What to say, what not to say......
Some days I want to scream from the mountaintops what we're going through. But honestly what good would it do? I am thankfully finding there are others out there that understand.. But if I had to guess it'd probably be something like .000001 for every billion people. I'm getting to the point where I want to just hole up in my house, and be alone. Which actually, it isn't possible to be alone, but I can still hole up other than appointments and such.
I honestly hate living in this sub-division. It's cute, quiet, and the houses are all a few feet from each other. Apparently lots of people like to live this way, because there are sub-divisions like this ALL over the place. Not us. Not people with PTSD, and loved ones of somenoe who has PTSD. Why? Oh I could go on for days. For me, It's embarrassing. I know my neighbors can hear when my husband is breaking things in our house. I know they can hear the screaming, and sometimes crying. They'd have to be deaf not to. And so when I see them, I just smile and try to pretend like I don't know that they know. I don't know who it's more awkward for, me, or them?
Then there's our son, who has severe ADHD, but he's not even 4 yet. He still doesn't have much control over himself, and we've tried medication but he's just too young, and there are too many side effects. So, anytime I'm out with him, there's always a super high risk of him having one of his meltdowns, and him darting off in front of cars. Sure, let's just avoid ever going out of house, because that's completely do-able, right?
At this point though, my skin is getting pretty thick. I'm caring less and less what people think, or say. I'd love to be a fly on the wall, and have them live one hour of my life. I'd be willing to bet they wouldn't even last an hr. PTSD, and ADHD are not things that we deal with because we caused either in any way. My husband has PTSD from his deployment. The things he's seen would affect anyone. Our son having ADHD isn't something he cought from some kid at a park. These are things that have happened to our family, and we've adapted to it.
The thing I'm learning. Is it doesn't matter what you say, or what you don't say. Unless people are in your shoes, they can't possibly know what you're going through. It doesn't matter if you explain yourself. You can't make someone care about you, or what you're going through. When you go through things like this, you quickly learn who you can really count on, and I can bet that number is going to be small. You might have 1,000 social networking friends, but how many of them are truly going to care what's going on in your life, and support you?
Where I stand now, is it if bothers you that my family is going through these things, and I talk about these things too much, or I annoy you with what I say, or share.. Do us both a favor and remove me from your life in whatever way that means. I am reponsible for my happiness, no one else. I appreciate all support, but if it's fake, you're just doing us both an injustice.
I honestly hate living in this sub-division. It's cute, quiet, and the houses are all a few feet from each other. Apparently lots of people like to live this way, because there are sub-divisions like this ALL over the place. Not us. Not people with PTSD, and loved ones of somenoe who has PTSD. Why? Oh I could go on for days. For me, It's embarrassing. I know my neighbors can hear when my husband is breaking things in our house. I know they can hear the screaming, and sometimes crying. They'd have to be deaf not to. And so when I see them, I just smile and try to pretend like I don't know that they know. I don't know who it's more awkward for, me, or them?
Then there's our son, who has severe ADHD, but he's not even 4 yet. He still doesn't have much control over himself, and we've tried medication but he's just too young, and there are too many side effects. So, anytime I'm out with him, there's always a super high risk of him having one of his meltdowns, and him darting off in front of cars. Sure, let's just avoid ever going out of house, because that's completely do-able, right?
At this point though, my skin is getting pretty thick. I'm caring less and less what people think, or say. I'd love to be a fly on the wall, and have them live one hour of my life. I'd be willing to bet they wouldn't even last an hr. PTSD, and ADHD are not things that we deal with because we caused either in any way. My husband has PTSD from his deployment. The things he's seen would affect anyone. Our son having ADHD isn't something he cought from some kid at a park. These are things that have happened to our family, and we've adapted to it.
The thing I'm learning. Is it doesn't matter what you say, or what you don't say. Unless people are in your shoes, they can't possibly know what you're going through. It doesn't matter if you explain yourself. You can't make someone care about you, or what you're going through. When you go through things like this, you quickly learn who you can really count on, and I can bet that number is going to be small. You might have 1,000 social networking friends, but how many of them are truly going to care what's going on in your life, and support you?
Where I stand now, is it if bothers you that my family is going through these things, and I talk about these things too much, or I annoy you with what I say, or share.. Do us both a favor and remove me from your life in whatever way that means. I am reponsible for my happiness, no one else. I appreciate all support, but if it's fake, you're just doing us both an injustice.
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
What's left?
He's been back from the treatment center for a week and a half now. Starting the day after he got home, we were right back to where we were before he left. It's been like that pretty much every day since. He's either completely mean to everyone, or he's ignoring us. He completely neglects me as his wife. I take a lot of the verbal abuse he dishes out, and let go, and walk away. But after so long of doing that, I fire back. I can't live like this. Where I'm either being verbally abused, or completely neglected. This is not the man I married, not even close. But where do I go from here?
I have been supporting him and his career for over 4 years, and raising our children pretty much on my own that entire time. How on earth can I find a job that supports me and all 3 kids alone? Yes sure, there's child support.. IF he pays it. I don't have any fight left in me. Sometimes I just want to lay down and play dead. I don't know where to go from here. I have never been so lost and confused in my life. After all this time supporting him in his career, and putting up with the deployments, I am left with an empty shell of a man, who I am starting to despise.
I have been supporting him and his career for over 4 years, and raising our children pretty much on my own that entire time. How on earth can I find a job that supports me and all 3 kids alone? Yes sure, there's child support.. IF he pays it. I don't have any fight left in me. Sometimes I just want to lay down and play dead. I don't know where to go from here. I have never been so lost and confused in my life. After all this time supporting him in his career, and putting up with the deployments, I am left with an empty shell of a man, who I am starting to despise.
Saturday, November 10, 2012
PTSD.. It's a bitch
Once upon a time, there were 2 super annoying, super hornball guys.. They joined forces to become a SUPER DUPER annoying hornball team. Then these two guys both got married, settled down, and had kids. Annoying hornball guy number 1 (one week older than the other) after having his first son, says to the other, who just had his daughter 7 months prior.. "Wouldn't it be something if these 2 grew up and got married one day?" Annoying hornball guy number 2 goes "over my dead body".
Fast foward 20 some years later.... My dad is still alive. Yep, those 2 babies grew up, got married, and had babies of their own. Cute right? It's not. Because while it seems like a fairy tail, the truth of the matter, only a couple of years into our marriage, we had been through more than anyone could imagine. Danny's done a lot of things that could have ended us, and I forgave him. We moved passed it, and kept on truckin'. Then we had 2 back to back deployments, which we had both of our kids during. Could have tried to plan that a little better, right?
Anyway, you've all heard of PTSD, you might even know someone who has it. Hell, maybe you've dealt with it, or your spouse has. If so, you know it is a debilitating thing. And that doesn't even describe how horrible it is. Hubby went on his second tour prepared for the worst, but what happened is worse than the worst. What happened was something he wasn't prepared for, and it has ruined him. He hates everything, including god. He is pissed at the world.
Every single day is a fight to just survive the day for him.. And for me, the same. Every day is a fight to survive what war, and PTSD has done to this man I love, yet don't recognize at all anymore. This man, to you, will appear normal, yet maybe a little bit irritated from time to time. In public he'll smile, crack jokes, and have a good time. This is not the man I know. The man I now know, is a giant ball of anger. Every day, all day, he yells, screams, curses, and belittles our children. Every. Single. Day.
It wasn't always like this. First he was just miserable and sad. Then it got to a point where he told me he wondered if he went to the bedroom, and blew his brains out, if the kids and I would even notice or care. I still have flashbacks to that night. It still haunts me. He fought and fought for help at his last duty station.. They wouldn't help him. He tried for months, and they literally turned him away over and over again. Finally, someone took notice, but it was too late, we were moving to another duty station. So, she throws some medication at him and calls it a day.
Meanwhile, we think.. Things will get better when we move. We'll get there, and there won't be any more deployments, and we can work on what needs to be done with PTSD. So, months later, he finally has a therapist. He does NOTHING, basically.. Then says he's going TDY (has to go to another duty station for a couple of months) and dumps us on someone else. This lady, she listened.. And is starting a new therapy with him. New to him anyway. It's called Prolonged Exposure Therapy. But I don't see how much good that's going to do when he only has an appointment once a week, or once every other week.
In the meantime, what am I doing you're wondering? I'm curling up into a pathetic little ball praying to god that my husband comes back to me. And my kids father comes back. While I let him ruin our kids. I live my life every day, trying to anticipate what will set him off, and keep on my toes so I can run to them and save them from him. From their fathers words. Exhausted doesn't even touch what I am as a result. The man who's supposed to love them, and protect them, is destroying them. These defenseless children, who still love their dad more than life, are being ruined by that same man.
I'm going to counseling, I'm trying to talk to those that I trust with this for advice. At this point, I know that if he doesn't get better, and if he doesn't try harder, I'm going to have to take my kids, and run. Sounds easy. Just make some arrangements, pack some things, and we'll be on our way. It's not easy. This is not my husband. This is not the man I gave my heart to. The man I married used to hold me, and tell me he loves me, and I'm beautiful, and the kids and I mean the world to him.I keep praying he's still in there somewhere. Now he's this empty man, who's tortured every monent of his life, even when he's asleep.
What's happening to me as a result? I hate the world sometimes. I ask god all the time what I did to deserve this. What my kids did to deserve this. Why did my husband have to be the one to whitness that accident? Why, why, WHY? I don't recognize myself either. I smile all the time, because I can't let anyone in. If people knew what we were going through, I'd be judged for staying, or judged for going. There is no way to put into words what PTSD really does. PTSD is a killer. This is why there are so many murders, and suicides in the military community, which comes right back to PTSD.
What the hell is our military doing to help these service members who gave their all? Nothing. Playing games with them, that's what their doing. His last duty station shut down a few years ago for a mandatory "If you have PTSD come for help, no one will judge you and we are here" get together. Guess what. IT WAS BULLSHIT! I can't even count how many times they turned my husband away. This is why right here. This is why I'm so angry at the Army. This is why I'm so miserable, and negative, and angry period.
We should be living our happily ever after right now, and every fucking day of my life, I am living a REAL nightmare. Every day is a struggle for all 5 of us. This is what PTSD is. It's a killer, and it destroys entire families. This is what we get for our sacrifices as a family, for our country.
Fast foward 20 some years later.... My dad is still alive. Yep, those 2 babies grew up, got married, and had babies of their own. Cute right? It's not. Because while it seems like a fairy tail, the truth of the matter, only a couple of years into our marriage, we had been through more than anyone could imagine. Danny's done a lot of things that could have ended us, and I forgave him. We moved passed it, and kept on truckin'. Then we had 2 back to back deployments, which we had both of our kids during. Could have tried to plan that a little better, right?
Anyway, you've all heard of PTSD, you might even know someone who has it. Hell, maybe you've dealt with it, or your spouse has. If so, you know it is a debilitating thing. And that doesn't even describe how horrible it is. Hubby went on his second tour prepared for the worst, but what happened is worse than the worst. What happened was something he wasn't prepared for, and it has ruined him. He hates everything, including god. He is pissed at the world.
Every single day is a fight to just survive the day for him.. And for me, the same. Every day is a fight to survive what war, and PTSD has done to this man I love, yet don't recognize at all anymore. This man, to you, will appear normal, yet maybe a little bit irritated from time to time. In public he'll smile, crack jokes, and have a good time. This is not the man I know. The man I now know, is a giant ball of anger. Every day, all day, he yells, screams, curses, and belittles our children. Every. Single. Day.
It wasn't always like this. First he was just miserable and sad. Then it got to a point where he told me he wondered if he went to the bedroom, and blew his brains out, if the kids and I would even notice or care. I still have flashbacks to that night. It still haunts me. He fought and fought for help at his last duty station.. They wouldn't help him. He tried for months, and they literally turned him away over and over again. Finally, someone took notice, but it was too late, we were moving to another duty station. So, she throws some medication at him and calls it a day.
Meanwhile, we think.. Things will get better when we move. We'll get there, and there won't be any more deployments, and we can work on what needs to be done with PTSD. So, months later, he finally has a therapist. He does NOTHING, basically.. Then says he's going TDY (has to go to another duty station for a couple of months) and dumps us on someone else. This lady, she listened.. And is starting a new therapy with him. New to him anyway. It's called Prolonged Exposure Therapy. But I don't see how much good that's going to do when he only has an appointment once a week, or once every other week.
In the meantime, what am I doing you're wondering? I'm curling up into a pathetic little ball praying to god that my husband comes back to me. And my kids father comes back. While I let him ruin our kids. I live my life every day, trying to anticipate what will set him off, and keep on my toes so I can run to them and save them from him. From their fathers words. Exhausted doesn't even touch what I am as a result. The man who's supposed to love them, and protect them, is destroying them. These defenseless children, who still love their dad more than life, are being ruined by that same man.
I'm going to counseling, I'm trying to talk to those that I trust with this for advice. At this point, I know that if he doesn't get better, and if he doesn't try harder, I'm going to have to take my kids, and run. Sounds easy. Just make some arrangements, pack some things, and we'll be on our way. It's not easy. This is not my husband. This is not the man I gave my heart to. The man I married used to hold me, and tell me he loves me, and I'm beautiful, and the kids and I mean the world to him.I keep praying he's still in there somewhere. Now he's this empty man, who's tortured every monent of his life, even when he's asleep.
What's happening to me as a result? I hate the world sometimes. I ask god all the time what I did to deserve this. What my kids did to deserve this. Why did my husband have to be the one to whitness that accident? Why, why, WHY? I don't recognize myself either. I smile all the time, because I can't let anyone in. If people knew what we were going through, I'd be judged for staying, or judged for going. There is no way to put into words what PTSD really does. PTSD is a killer. This is why there are so many murders, and suicides in the military community, which comes right back to PTSD.
What the hell is our military doing to help these service members who gave their all? Nothing. Playing games with them, that's what their doing. His last duty station shut down a few years ago for a mandatory "If you have PTSD come for help, no one will judge you and we are here" get together. Guess what. IT WAS BULLSHIT! I can't even count how many times they turned my husband away. This is why right here. This is why I'm so angry at the Army. This is why I'm so miserable, and negative, and angry period.
We should be living our happily ever after right now, and every fucking day of my life, I am living a REAL nightmare. Every day is a struggle for all 5 of us. This is what PTSD is. It's a killer, and it destroys entire families. This is what we get for our sacrifices as a family, for our country.
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Learning to matter
Some would say it's a wonderful thing to have such a huge heart. Those who have one sometimes struggle with it, though. I consider myself to be a good person. I tend to go above and beyond for pretty much anyone in need, except myself. Forget wants, I don't even allow myself what I need most of the time. Although I am exhausted, and am going without things I need, I still manage to find time to help others out. But there comes a time when I need to open my eyes and realize that some of these people, just don't care.
Either they don't realize all you're doing for them, or they flat out don't care, or think it's not enough, and want more out of you. Then when I get to the point where I have to say enough, I let those who never appreciated me anyway, make me feel bad about taking some time for myself. I have come to realize that I have to back up, and figure out what's important for myself, and my family, and let the rest go.
I can't be everything to everyone. I can only be what I can be for myself, and family. I'm not sure how long this process is going to take, but what I hope to get out of it in the end, is to feel happy, and less exhausted. I'm not even 30 years old yet, and I feel like I've been running in circles for decades. Every day is another opportunity to figure out what step is next, and how to feel good knowing I'm doing my best, for those that MATTER.
Either they don't realize all you're doing for them, or they flat out don't care, or think it's not enough, and want more out of you. Then when I get to the point where I have to say enough, I let those who never appreciated me anyway, make me feel bad about taking some time for myself. I have come to realize that I have to back up, and figure out what's important for myself, and my family, and let the rest go.
I can't be everything to everyone. I can only be what I can be for myself, and family. I'm not sure how long this process is going to take, but what I hope to get out of it in the end, is to feel happy, and less exhausted. I'm not even 30 years old yet, and I feel like I've been running in circles for decades. Every day is another opportunity to figure out what step is next, and how to feel good knowing I'm doing my best, for those that MATTER.
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
A whole lot of bad, with a side of good.
Last weeks session for hubby was the beginning of a VERY bad week for us. He said some things in the session that really hurt me. I completely shut down toward him after that, and for the next few days, things went from bad, to worse, to almost unsolvable. I honestly thought it was the end of us a few days ago. This isn't how we pictured life right now. He's finally home from deployments, we can finally be a family, and NOT worry about another separation lurking in the near future. But this is not how our life was supposed to be. Him, completely broken. He even said a few days ago, that a big part of him died in Afghanistan. I can see that.
We got to the point a few days ago where I was waiting for the words to come out of his mouth. "I want a divorce". The words when you go into a marriage you NEVER want to hear. As much as I expected to hear them, they did not come out. Although he kept saying the last week that he doesn't see us lasting anymore. That was a shot right through my heart. Who wants to be in a marriage where you're spouse doesn't think you'll last? Not me! I wouldn't have gotten married again, and had more kids if I thought that for a second. I had this vision of us on the front porch of the house we built, in our rockers, talking about the good old days.
I completely broke down, instead of spouting anger to hide my fear, and hurt. I finally let him see how heartbroken, and scared I was. I couldn't even let him look at me. I sat in the bathroom, on the floor, in the dark, bawling my eyes out, and he sat outside of the door pouring his heart out to me for the first time in almost a year. I think this was our turn around. Where we just bared it all for each other to see. All our emotions, fear, hurt, anxiety.
After that day/night, we've had our moments, but it's been solvable every day. We come back later and explain ourselves, and talk about it. We even had our daughters birthday the other day and it was a huge success, although I am sick. We were able to spend the evening as a family, and enjoy her day together. She LOVED it all! So, onto the side of good.
I walk our oldest son to school and back every day, and in the morning on our way back my daughter and I always stop to talk to a neighbor and her daughter as they wait for her bus. She was one of the few people who went out of her way to introduce herself to us when we moved in. She is VERY sweet, and ALSO from Tennessee :). Although we didn't always live there, it was the first place we ever felt as if we were home, so it is "back home" to us now.
Our neighbor told me a few weeks ago they were moving. Sad news, but happy for them to be moving up. We loved their house, at least from the outside since we moved here. It's really cute, and even bigger than our house. I asked her today if she didn't mind telling me how much their rent is there. Come to find out, it's what we pay for our house that is MUCH smaller, and theirs actually has a fenced in back yard, whereas ours doesn't. She invited us over to walk through, and I am IN LOVE with the house. It's honestly perfect for us, at least till we know where we'll end up staying for good. It would be MUCH more functional for us than where we are now. She's going to talk to her landlord and let her know that we are very interested in renting ASAP at that price.
Hubby is more than on page. This house will make ALL our lives much easier, and much more comfortable. I am hoping, and praying this works out. Worst case scenario, we have to pay another 3 months rent where we live now if our landlord won't let us out of the lease early. I am crossing everything I can cross, and praying with all I've got that this works out for us. We all need this. A home that we feel comfortable in, and can function the way we need to. Please, lord, let this be the break we as a family have been needing for a VERY long time.
We got to the point a few days ago where I was waiting for the words to come out of his mouth. "I want a divorce". The words when you go into a marriage you NEVER want to hear. As much as I expected to hear them, they did not come out. Although he kept saying the last week that he doesn't see us lasting anymore. That was a shot right through my heart. Who wants to be in a marriage where you're spouse doesn't think you'll last? Not me! I wouldn't have gotten married again, and had more kids if I thought that for a second. I had this vision of us on the front porch of the house we built, in our rockers, talking about the good old days.
I completely broke down, instead of spouting anger to hide my fear, and hurt. I finally let him see how heartbroken, and scared I was. I couldn't even let him look at me. I sat in the bathroom, on the floor, in the dark, bawling my eyes out, and he sat outside of the door pouring his heart out to me for the first time in almost a year. I think this was our turn around. Where we just bared it all for each other to see. All our emotions, fear, hurt, anxiety.
After that day/night, we've had our moments, but it's been solvable every day. We come back later and explain ourselves, and talk about it. We even had our daughters birthday the other day and it was a huge success, although I am sick. We were able to spend the evening as a family, and enjoy her day together. She LOVED it all! So, onto the side of good.
I walk our oldest son to school and back every day, and in the morning on our way back my daughter and I always stop to talk to a neighbor and her daughter as they wait for her bus. She was one of the few people who went out of her way to introduce herself to us when we moved in. She is VERY sweet, and ALSO from Tennessee :). Although we didn't always live there, it was the first place we ever felt as if we were home, so it is "back home" to us now.
Our neighbor told me a few weeks ago they were moving. Sad news, but happy for them to be moving up. We loved their house, at least from the outside since we moved here. It's really cute, and even bigger than our house. I asked her today if she didn't mind telling me how much their rent is there. Come to find out, it's what we pay for our house that is MUCH smaller, and theirs actually has a fenced in back yard, whereas ours doesn't. She invited us over to walk through, and I am IN LOVE with the house. It's honestly perfect for us, at least till we know where we'll end up staying for good. It would be MUCH more functional for us than where we are now. She's going to talk to her landlord and let her know that we are very interested in renting ASAP at that price.
Hubby is more than on page. This house will make ALL our lives much easier, and much more comfortable. I am hoping, and praying this works out. Worst case scenario, we have to pay another 3 months rent where we live now if our landlord won't let us out of the lease early. I am crossing everything I can cross, and praying with all I've got that this works out for us. We all need this. A home that we feel comfortable in, and can function the way we need to. Please, lord, let this be the break we as a family have been needing for a VERY long time.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)