Dig a little deeper, and hopefully find that last little bit of strength.

I feel like I've reached the bottom. 10.5 months into this year long deployment, and I've just reached the end of my sanity. What do you do? You can put some energy into homecoming projects, that helps a little. You can keep telling yourself that the end is in site. But is it really? What about after the deployment? Should be getting block leave a week after he gets home, but now we have to wait a month?? Then he's mine for a couple of months, and then he's gone.. AGAIN. 3 month school a few states away. Then what? I get him for a couple of weeks, and he's gone.. AGAAAAAIN! The school year doesn't end till mid May, and he is due to his next duty station early April. So I get to be without my best friend for another couple months. And what about the house? Will we sell it? Will we be stuck paying a mortgage, with no BAH coming in because we're living on post at the new station? I mean, we can make it, but it still stresses me out. That's a lot of money going out. Then we get 2 years (almost) of being together with no deployments. But then what?? What are we going to do when he gets out of the Army? Will he really get out? We've been TOGETHER 17 months, of 45 total. And those aren't solid months, those are all broken up. A few weeks here, a couple months there.. Months apart. It's just killing me. We haven't had a chance to be a family for more than a couple of months at a time, and we have THREE kids. It's wearing on all of us. Especially my husband. I can almost feel his sadness. We have to miss one person, he has to miss 4. Not to mention miss home, miss our animals, real food, a comfortable bed. I'm just really tired of "getting by" I want my husband. I want my kids to have their daddy. I'm sick of this lifestyle, and really tired of all the sacrifices. It's time for us to be a family for once. For more than a few weeks, or a couple months.