Who is that girl, that woman, sobbing in the hallway? Is it me? No, it's not, she's only part of me. She's the me I don't let many people see, or know that she exists. She is the lost, insecure, self doubting girl I used to be. She's the me that comes out when no one is looking. But she was seen, for the first time, in years. I wish I could always find strength in my weakness. It's what makes me human. Why do I feel this constant need to only be strong? I deal with so much, and I've survived so many things, yet I make myself feel as though I can't be weak, ever. Why do I feel this way? Why do I always feel like I'm not good enough? I have accomplished so much in my 27 years, so why can't I give myself credit where credit is due? Why can't I face my fears, and open up to those that are the closest to me? Why do I only really cry when no one is looking?
Because I LET others make me feel as though I'm not enough. That I'm not strong, smart, talented, pretty, deserving. I am all those things, and more. I have more tenacity in my little finger than most people in their entire being. I CAN get through this. I can get through anything, and I will. I need to make a promise to myself, that I will not hide parts of me from those I love, and have more than earned the right to know all of me. How can I expect them to show me all of them, and trust me with their thoughts and feelings, if I cannot trust them with mine? I have been a hypocrite. I refuse to let these demons from the past dictate what my future holds. And I refuse to let them belittle me, and make me feel worthless anymore.
I am a good mother, and a good wife. I am talented, I am smart, and I am VERY strong. I am pretty, and I am WORTHY. To anyone who thinks otherwise, you are entitled to your opinions, but you're wrong :)
